Found: Paradise :)

Let It Out

Welcome to my blog. Actually, it's not really a blog. It's more of an online novel. It's a love story. Everything about the story is fictional. But the characters are based on real people. Parts of the story are based on real life experiences, but most of them are what we all dream of love. LOVE. You may or may not like the story. You may think that it's senseless or whatever. You're probably right. And if you do think that way, then what the hell are still doing here?! Click the button on the right-most corner of your screen. The button that looks like this: [X]. And by the way, please don't proof-read the story. It's not an best-selling novel, it's just a blog.
Enjoy :)
Note: Everything found here is made by me, unless otherwise stated :)

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Move Along

For past episodes

Jun 8, 2007
Oct 14, 2007
Apr 12, 2008
Apr 14, 2008
Apr 22, 2008
May 5, 2008
May 6, 2008
May 9, 2008
Jun 28, 2008
Jul 8, 2008
Oct 21, 2008
Nov 15, 2008

Thanks!

I just want to say thanks to everybody who read this blog.
comments are very much appreciated :)
and please use the tagboard as much as you want, as long as you don't say anything offensive.

i need your support. if many people comment that they like the blog, i will be encouraged to update it more often :)

all i ask i your support and co-operation :)
i am fully aware of the fact that you are not paying me anything, so i don't have any right to kick you out or whatever. but please, let us respect each other :)

** please respect the fact that i want to remain as anonymous as possible.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

indefinite

our prof inspired this one, not in the sense you think =)) he was explained to us that love was so abstract that it made it impossible to be sure if it was love at all :)

BOY: i love you.
GIRL: what is love?
B: it' what i feel for you..

i know it doesn't make sense :))
our prof told us that we shouldn't declare our love for someone without thinking about it extensively because we don't have a concrete definition for it :)

let go of my quill at 1:53 AM

0 ~~knights in shining armor~~

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sanity, insanity.

"i'll never see anyone else. even when i look away, even when i close my eyes.. you're still all i see."

i might be delusional or just plain crazy, but i think jeremiah might have feelings for me. i thought i was the only one who could see it, but then my friends confirmed my guess. one of our classmates even said that she thinks that he and i might end up together someday. and now.. i'm avoiding him completely. i don't know why i'm acting this way. maybe i'm scared, or maybe i'm just not interested. i used to fantasize being with him. but now i realize that the jeremiah in my dreams and the jeremiah in reality are 2 completely different people. he reminds me of zarence.
*** z was one of our classmates before til he got uber low grades and got transfered. now we're not even friends. z used to court me and stuff, though he had his own way of doing things. i fell for him, but he hurt me. apparently, he forgot to mention to me that he had a girlfriend. so he didn't break my heart, that's hardly the case, but he did hurt me.. a lot. honestly, it's not easy to break through the walls i put up around myself. so that's why i find it hard to forgive and forget. ***
z rarely showed emotions, let alone affection. and i hate that. so when i realized that jeremiah had the exact same quality, i got pissed. maybe it's because it reminds me of z, but i started to get pissed at jeremiah. i know that's not a good reason, but that's how i feel. and i can't change that. i'm still not sure if jeremiah does feel that way, but i'm avoiding him just in case he does. it's for his own good, i don't want to lead anyone on. he might not want nor expect to be in a relationship, but i don't want to give him any ideas.
-- i don't think i 'm scared of commitment or falling. i think that falling and committing to being with someone is simply spectacular. it would be really great if that were to happen to me. if love happens to touch me with it's magic, i would be entirely grateful for it :)

so here's another possible explanation to why i'm reacting this way. I'M INLOVE.. WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
it's plausible and possible :) and i think that it's jp i'm falling for.. again. *sighs*
it's something our professor taught us. "opposites don't attract. when looking for friends, you need people who would complete you with their individuality. when looking for a significant other, you need someone compatible for you. someone who would complement your character." so here's how i understood that: when it comes to friends, we need people who have different attitudes so that we could see things from different perspectives. but when looking for love, we need someone who will complement our attitude, and vice versa. someone who's attitude can blend well with ours.
i'm not being comparative, but i think that i found someone to blend with me in JP :) yeah, him.
it was never really clear how jp felt about me. people assumed that he liked me because of the way he acted every time we were together. they even thought that we would eventually end up together. but we didn't so that means that what he feels is different from what i feel. even our friendship has changed, we don't talk that often anymore. i don't know if it's because of the time or the distance, but it still sucks either way. i thought i got over him already. maybe absence doesn't really make the heart grow fonder. but now i find my self thinking about him incessantly. and even doodling his name on every surface my pen touches. so now i'm stuck in this black hole of not knowing..

let go of my quill at 12:47 AM

0 ~~knights in shining armor~~

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