<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/38871075?origin\x3dhttps://stowree.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



Let It Out

Welcome to my blog. Actually, it's not really a blog. It's more of an online novel. It's a love story. Everything about the story is fictional. But the characters are based on real people. Parts of the story are based on real life experiences, but most of them are what we all dream of love. LOVE. You may or may not like the story. You may think that it's senseless or whatever. You're probably right. And if you do think that way, then what the hell are still doing here?! Click the button on the right-most corner of your screen. The button that looks like this: [X]. And by the way, please don't proof-read the story. It's not an best-selling novel, it's just a blog.
Enjoy :)
Note: Everything found here is made by me, unless otherwise stated :)


Chatter

Here's your chance to say what you want to say.


Move Along

For past episodes

Jun 8, 2007
Oct 14, 2007
Apr 12, 2008
Apr 14, 2008
Apr 22, 2008
May 5, 2008
May 6, 2008
May 9, 2008
Jun 28, 2008
Jul 8, 2008
Oct 21, 2008
Nov 15, 2008


Thanks!

I just want to say thanks to everybody who read this blog.
comments are very much appreciated :)
and please use the tagboard as much as you want, as long as you don't say anything offensive.

i need your support. if many people comment that they like the blog, i will be encouraged to update it more often :)

all i ask i your support and co-operation :)
i am fully aware of the fact that you are not paying me anything, so i don't have any right to kick you out or whatever. but please, let us respect each other :)

** please respect the fact that i want to remain as anonymous as possible.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

best i ever had



i was listening to the song BEST I EVER HAD - VERTICAL HORIZON a while ago, and i got really inspired. so here it goes.

i just realized that jp has this amazingly strong force over me. i guess, pull would be the right word, but the extent of it's definition doesn't seem to match my feelings. i guess i really fell for him, but now.. i'm done falling. i'm simpy stuck in this state of.. something. it's not like i've fallen and reached the bottom, having no where else to go but up. it's like i've fallen half way, being given the option to either go up or down. i'm simply stuck.

i used to think that he was my perfect match. he would match my personality and moods without effort. we listened to the same kind of music, which is a very big plus for me. and.. he just suits me. seems perfect right? not really. i always knew, or felt, that something was off. and now i know that it's the fact that there will never be just one for him, one would never be enough. he would always want and need more than one girl.. for him to love, and to love him back. i can't live like that. knowing that you share his heart with someone else, while he has yours solely. it's doesn't matter to me if i'm the second, or even the first. i just want to be the only one. but with jp, that's an impossibility. and he doesn't even know it.

back to his force over me. it's not like power, it's nothing like that. i can't explain it right. i'll put it this way. if he told me that he loves me, then i would say that i love him too - having no escape. and trust me, i am very very good at hiding my feelings. but with him, there is no hiding and there is no escape. it's like he can easily break through the walls i put up around me. and not even know it. it may seem like i would give in to anything he wants - as long as he asks it.. but it's not. it's more like giving into what my heart wants, despite all the denying my brain is doing.

there was this party before. the celebrant was one of our common high school friends. i didn't really want to come but i missed my high school friends so much. when i got there, i absolutely had no idea who would be there. but i was 100% sure that jp wouldn't be there, since he studies in the province. so when i got out of the car and into the lobby, i was surpised (almost horrified, even) that he was there. he came up to me and gave a me bear hug, all the while i was still pondering on how he made it to the party.
so i asked, "why are you here?" it almost sounded like an accusation.
he was shocked, but he recovered his composure. "i was given an invitation."
and all i could come up with was "oh."
we were seated at different tables, so chow time was the only time for us to talk during the program. it was a buffet, so i tried to avoid him as much as possible. when i got enough food, i immediately went back to my table to starting eating. as i was about to take my first bite, he caught me off-guard. he whispered into my ear, then he stroked my hair. he was like a ghost, i didn't even notice him come up behind me. after that, i pretty much lost my appetite. it was like my stomach was already full - of butterflies :)

i hope you guys understand what i'm saying here. i don't even know if i'm making any sense right now, but who cares? i just needed to get this out, badly needed it. i must be going out of my mind =))


let go of my quill at 7:52 AM


0 knights in shining armor


______________________________________________________________________________________